Sunday, April 19, 2009

My Car Is My Lover

I love British docos that focus on narrow interests and obsessions. Animal Passions is probably my favorite of all. I have reviewed it on imdb, but for reasons I'm unable to fathom, nobody else has. I had this to say:

"One of the most extraordinary documentaries I have ever seen. I watched it with mouth agape as half a dozen Americans spoke of their love for animals and their intimate relationships with them. Producer Christopher Spencer reserves judgment and provides us with a very clear picture of why some human beings' love for animals extends to having sex with them. This is not an XXX-rated, Brazilian bestiality film featuring bad photography, crappy sound and pornographic imagery. This is an English documentary from a renowned documentarian who introduces us to some of the most marginalized people on Earth.

"The interviewees, both men and women, are incredibly candid about their zoophile lifestyle (an illegal lifestyle in most parts of the world) and come across as intelligent, articulate and resigned to their unconventional sexual proclivity. I admit that one early scene in which a group of male zoophiles admire a couple of horses and make lustful comments about their bodies even made me feel slightly uncomfortable and reminded me that I'm more conventional than I thought. Animal Passions (not to be confused with the often bootlegged Color Climax porno film, Animal Passion) is beautifully shot in rural America and stands as the most non-exploitative word on the subject so far.

Who said dogs and cats don't mix?!

"Although some of the docos on famous animal lover Bodil attempt to penetrate the mind of a zoophile, these are still geared towards the porno market and are only superficial "documentaries". Though this is sexually non-explicit, it is the most explicit exploration of this inflammatory subject I've seen and stands as a fine anthropological document. Highly recommended. "

Other recent British docs of note have been Sex Change Soldier, My Fake Baby, and Love Me Love My Doll.

All are mandatory viewing for readers of this blog.

I had high hopes for Lars and the Real Girl...

Fuck the "whimsical", Lars!

...but that film was a confused, stupid, idiotic cop-out.

This morning I was bowled over by My Car Is My Lover, an amazing British doco that focuses on mechaphilia (sexual attraction to machines).

It focuses on Jordan, a young, shy mechaphile from Missouri, and Edward, a more outspoken mechaphile from Seattle.

Both fellas have a strong passion for their cars (VW Beetles)...

... but are capable of "loving" other machines, too, such as trucks and helicopters.

Edward confesses that he made love to the helicopter from from the Airwolf TV show...

...before a terrible tragedy retired it and killed its four occupants.

Photos of Edward rubbing himself up against the Hollywood chopper and kissing and stroking it are featured.

Edward with the Airwolf whirlybird

Although Edward and Jordan met on-line, they had not met each other in person prior to the doco. The producers create a scenario in which Edward and Jordan drive from their respective homes to Pamona, California, home of one of the biggest auto swap meets in the country, to meet.

The Pamona Auto Swap Meet

Both journeys are documented.

One of the most fascinating aspects of Edward's story is his uncontrollable urge to stroke, kiss, and ejaculate onto cars. While staying at a motel with the film crew, he sneaks out into the lot at midnight and secretly fondles a parked SUV. A couple of nights later, while staying at another motel, he strips off completely and wanders into the lot to have sex with the guests' vehicles. Both incidents are captured on video.

When asked why he agreed to make the doco, he explains: "I want people to know that I appreciate beauty and I go a little beyond appreciation of a car."

Jordan's reasons? "I want to make it more comfortable for people with similar strangeness."

Although Jordan preps his beloved bug for the journey, engine problems force him to take his Trans Am, "Todd", instead.

He ends up admitting that the journey was a great bonding experience for him and the Kit-like "Todd". Edward, on the other hand, has trouble admitting to Jordan that he molested and ejaculated beside Jordan's Trans Am while Jordan was sleeping.

This doco is the best!

Discussing his sexual approach to automobiles, Jordan admits that when he first gets them, he's "not inclined to fuck them". It takes a while for him to get comfortable.

Not a shot from the doco, but not off topic, either

Edward doesn't have this problem. When he is seen admiring a 1919 Ford, the interviewer suggests that having sex with the vehicle would be like fucking an old lady. "Would you go there"? Edward smiles, doesn't think too hard, and says, "It would be an honor to go there."

The scenes of the boys admiring and commenting on various parked vehicles reminded me of similar scenes in Animal Passions where the zoophiles admired (and commented on) horses in a paddock.

My Car Is My Lover deals with a serious, interesting subject honestly and with some helpful humor. It examines the possible origins of this fetish/sexual proclivity, and doesn't treat its subjects as freaks.

It is not to be missed.


  1. My van broke down recently, so I took it to the shop, and the mechanic told me my transmission was fucked.

    He said he 'would fix her up for me', and give her 'a good going over while he was at it'.

    Is it possible I should have billed him??

  2. Heh. WOW. I've seen some teasers for this on BBC America but it seemed like it was going to be some fairly normal muscle car retrospective or something. Good god they release some great docs.

    Timely article given the passing of sci-fi author J. G. Ballard yesterday. Go easy.

  3. Sometimes things like this make me hate being from a state run by a bunch of dumb hicks.

  4. Buscemi -- if the hicks running every state just stuck to fucking cars and not the tax payers, we'd all be better off.


    This link tells you about the guy in the picture fucking his car and has more pictures, enjoy.