Ask What You Can Bring To the Evil Dead Remake

Film criticism is not about absolutes. Judging art is expressing an opinion, relating how you responded to something. How your neighbor responds to the same thing is a different kettle of fish, and doesn't make them right or wrong. Our responses are filtered by life experience, where we are at any given moment, and what's troubling us at that time. Because we're all on different simultaneous journeys, it makes sense that opinions are often at loggerheads.

I walked out of the EVIL DEAD remake feeling underwhelmed and surprisingly flat. Yes, the special effects were solid, and the film was clearly made with love and passion, but it was a slog for me. At the forty-five minute mark, I wanted it to finish so I could leave and feel the sun on my face. I didn't engage with it, I didn't bond with the characters, and their issues didn't capture my sympathy or empathy.  

For me, the original, which I admire a lot, was more kinetic under Sam Raimi's direction, and the orchestration of character types made for a much more enjoyable time. The special effects were less sophisticated than they are in this remake, but I actually found them more real, more immediate.

The writers in this remake take a few new turns by creating a character struggling with a drug problem, and they half succeed marrying drug rehabilitation with demonic possession for amusement, but it didn't make the film any more interesting to me than if they hadn't done it at all. Still, points for trying.

An 'Ash'/Bruce Campbell-type character is sorely missed here because he was the original's brightest spark, a one-man army who never took the silly premise too seriously. In this revival, there's nobody you could safely call a 'hero', although a 'Final Girl' does turn up (actually, emerge!) when everything's pretty much put to bed. So, does that make her a real 'Final Girl'? And come to think of it, what the hell is a 'Final Girl' even doing in EVIL DEAD?

The producers totally wimp out on recreating the famous Tree Rape scene from the original, content to splash blood and guts all over the place, but becoming coy when a little penetration by flora is underway, so screw them(!) The replaying of spooky incantations from the first film over the end credits simply reminded me how great the original was and how unnecessary this dash-for-cash is.

My opinion only, and I'm sticking to it. You'll stick to yours, I'm sure, and so you should. What's an opinion if you don't honor it with conviction?

And that leads me to this thought, which works for me: When you repaint the Mona Lisa, only the painters profit.

Over the years, my favorite horror films have remained pretty consistent.

Everything we love is flawed, is it not?, which is often why we love it in the first place.

Flaws give us an entry point, an opening that welcomes us with our own flaws.

What we love as much as the film itself is what we personally bring to it.

I couldn't bring much to the EVIL DEAD remake, but I always manage to bring plenty to these beauties:

Movie Ad Mat Explosion

I was there, at Hoyts Burwood Drive-in, to see this double.

It was my virgin screening of Argento's flick and I sure had a great time. Will always remember the underwater cavern sequence (directed and shot by Bava, some scribes say).

Richard Pearce's Heartland ('79) featured an amazing Rip Torn performance. A prairie survival tale with a rich script, it bowled me over with its subtlety (which sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it?)

Pearce also directed the searing medical drama Threshold ('81), with Donald Sutherland, and the Richards Gere actioner No Mercy ('86). Country ('84) is another of his achievements.

Melbourne's The 69 Adult Cinema was a rebadged commercial venue.

I suspect Pro Ball Hookers was a retitling of the '79 Jack Mathew's Pro Ball Cheerleaders with Candida Royalle, Lisa de Leeuw, Suzanna Nero, and Jennifer West. Since cheerleading, a very American tradition, is foreign to Aussie audiences, the change is understandable.

Was the producer (Mathews also) arrested? I can't find any evidence of that.

Pro Ball Cheerleaders was a Debbie Does Dallas clone, only it was much better.

Very worthwhile triple that I begged and pleaded with my parents to see.

I came off worse than a biker's moll.

I've always been partial to Frank Laloggia's Fear No Evil ('81), one of the artier horror flicks of the period.

But let's be frank about Final Exam ('81 also), a slasher (?) I actually saw at a Detroit cinema (the Showcase Sterling Heights). It is an appalling piece of excruciatingly boring fecal matter.

It boggled my mind recently reading new reviews of the film after it was released on DVD. Some pundits actually founds merit in it. Trouble was, their arguments held no water. It's easily one of the worst films ever made. Just because a film is out on DVD doesn't mean it's good.

I lined up for the first session of this film at the Adams in downtown Detroit. The cinema's vibe was scarier than the movie.

The book is so much better, but it (the film) is not terrible.

Another classic Adams screening for me. During the "Piss your pants!" sequence in Last House, a semi-drunk guy got up and pissed in the corner beside the screen. The smell began wafting through the musky darkness five minutes later. You never forget fun times like that.

An early example of PG-13 horror before PG-13 existed. Very light-on horror flick with almost no violence.

I enjoyed the first Penitentiary almost thirty years ago, but I saw it again recently and thought Leon Isaac Kennedy's appalling performance murdered every dramatic moment.

I drove down to the Adams to see Slammer actually, a Bruce Davison film, directed by Robert Young, originally titled Short Eyes ('77). In prison, "short eyes" used to be a term for "child molester".

Davison is thrown in the clink for a crime against a child, but he's determined to prove his innocence.

Based on a play by Miguel Pinero, who spent time in prison. The film did well upon its release and is well worth catching today.

This ad mat for Downstairs Upstairs, a parody of the British Upstairs Downstairs TV show, does not distinguish it from its mostly shoddy ilk. The film was a terrific XXX'er with a great Kay Parker performance and an authentic plot. Some bizarre sexuality, too, with a half-pinter.

One of my favorite comedies of all time.

Bill Forsythe followed up with Local Hero, Comfort and Joy, and Housekeeping, his first American outing (and a disappointment).

His first film was That Sinking Feeling with Robert Buchanan, the actor who played 'Andy' in Gregory's Girl. It was/still is a classic.

I find both films to be models of understatement and comedy so unforced, it makes one of the hardest things to do in the world (make people laugh) look like a cinch.

A poor sequel, Gregory's Two Girls, appeared in '99.

Saw Xtro and Tony Scott's debut feature, The Hunger, on the same afternoon in Detroit.

I liked The Hunger much more, but I respected the crazy audacity of Xtro. The scene in which the woman gives birth to an adult male deserves mention. The woman deserved a month of rest and stitches.

Fantastic screenplay adaptation of his own play by Howard Pinter.

Betrayal tells the shattering story of a marital break-up in reverse.

It's a superb drama.

Jeremy Irons and Ben Kingsley are in top form.

The decision to tell the tale in reverse adds such tragic weight to every scene.