Sunday, April 24, 2011

Happy Easter!

 I don't have children, but, if I did, I wouldn't want "Happiness" for them. I'd want for them to find the inner strength to weather the ups and downs of the life laid before them.

I don't have much affection for people who think Happiness is over the next rise. Either, they believe every lie politicians spoon them, or they already own three houses and want ten more. Then they'll be Happy, right? What they're doing is confusing Happiness (whatever the fuck that is!) with Stimulation. They're stimulated by ostentatious symbols of their wealth -- or stretched credit limits. The stimulation they feel is a real thing, but it doesn't last long. That's why they need it all the time.

Fucking morons!

 These are the same folks who insist on movies with Happy endings. Happy endings work for them because they support their grand delusions. Happy endings keep their easily popped bubbles afloat. These folks figure that if they can keep enough delusional bubbles swirling around their heads, they'll never need to face Reality.

I'm fine with Happy endings, but I feel much more comfortable with what is sometimes called the Downbeat ending. Downbeat endings never depress me. On the contrary, they support my belief that most of what happens to us in life is random. To the universe, there's no good or bad. There are just acts. A kiss. A kill. A drop of rain falling. An anus filled. A flower blooming. A child hugged. A child beaten. A city decimated by a quake. A bird singing. A koala born. A forest ravaged by fire. Thirst quenched by  Summer rain. If we think we control most of these things, we're living on a cloud.

I don't believe in karma, either. The attribution of karma to an event implies a belief (in the attributor) that justice is eventually served. That life is basically fair. That the bad guy gets his comeuppance. That the good guy gets the reward. That God will defeat the Devil.


  Life guarantees us unpredictability.

Nothing else.

For me, this Truth (a personal one) is my launching place. It enables me to weather the storms because it doesn't lead me towards a false horizon. I'm already where I can Be. The trick is making the most of the accidental fortunes of life --  friends, family, art, and nature -- and whatever else you can forge from the anarchic debris.

I love movies and literature where anarchy reigns, where the worst happens to the best of us, the best happens to the worst of us, and the universe reminds us that it is in charge.

 It's incredibly liberating to not expect justice or love or commitment or dominion or loyalty.

Expectations kill.

Arriving at just Being, and appreciating the cold and heat of THAT... is my measure of "success".

What's yours?


  1. Well, if someone could weather the ups and downs of life, perhaps to some/most people, like me, that's happiness. Happiness for the most part is elusive. I know life ain't going to be a bowl of cherries, not all the time. Even Bill Gates or Donald Trump get diarrhea from time to time. Given that, money may not buy you happiness, but it's better than being poor and does make life easier.

  2. Heavy.
    I guess you go along with the Buddah:
    Life is suffering.
    Check out a modern day Buddah-
    Ekhartd Tolle.
    His understanding that mans EGO is responsible for all the decay we inflict on ourselves and others.

  3. I came to wish you a Happy Easter Pulp! Your blog is right in so many ways...but if you read my Easter blog you would probably hate it! Lmao! I do like the way you blog and I surely will not get bored reading you my new friend. I hope your weekend was good. I don't have any children myself nor do I lose sleep thinking I could of had them either! I am too confident to think that if I leave children behind at least my jeans will go on. That's bullshit there! I don't hate kids but I don't have much to do with them either. With money tight now I'm glad I only have myself to take care of! Later! ♥

  4. Happy Easter. Actually, fuck Easter! Hope you're having a good one, though.

    You so often invoke "truth" in your writings--in regards to art and to life in general. I think I am with you on your definition of it. Firstly, it's subjective. My truth is not the next guy's truth. Having said that, there are some delusional shitbirds out there whose version of truth isn't worth a lick of spit. They don't get it and never will.

    Secondly, the harder you look for it, the less likely you are to find it. When I was young I thought simple slogans and messages and song lyrics were truth. Not so. Came too easy. Didn't mean anything. Whenever I catch a glimpse of truth it usually smacks me in the face when I'm not even thinking about it, although occasionally I can divine the direction where I may find it.

    Anybody whose had a science class has seen Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Far too few understand it. The thing at the top is the goal. You need the stuff at the bottom to live. Some people have fuckloads upon metric fuck tonnes of the stuff at the bottom and they think they have the thing at the top. Dumbasses. That ain't how it works.

  5. Thanks, all, for contribution. What a magic group of people throw in here. I feel lucky to have you here.

    Anon -- no argument that money reduces certain stresses and it's better to have some than none.


    Jax -- I don't believe that life is suffering. I believe it is random. It can be orgasmic in the morning and terrifying in the afternoon. It's rarely static. I do agree that ego is the ruination of most things.


    Bekkie -- thanks for your Easter wishes. I respect your own well argued opinion and certainly don't "hate" your take on this occasion. Like you, I don't lose sleep over kid-related stresses or regrets.


    d -- well put and spoken like a true realist. The top and bottom are often misunderstood.

  6. Here here! Well said. People often only want to deal with the good in life. As soon as something bad or difficult comes along they do a runner. You have to take the rough with the smooth to really experience life.

    I hope you had a good Easter.

  7. Happy Zombie Jesus to day to you too.

    I believe in karma, it simply is the proven fact that for every action there is an equal an opposite reaction. If you spew hate, hate will find you, somehow, sometimes indirectly. I believe that the universe is rooted in some form of harmony and justice, but here's the catch, it is often is well beyond human understanding and karma does not often work in the direct, eye for an eye way we wish it would.

    I definitely agree and am starting to learn not to expect much in specific from life except what I can personally take charge of now. The last few years of my life have been a lot more frustrating and miserable than perhaps they should have been because I expected to be rewarded for all my hard work.

  8. I found your take on stimulation being misinterpreted for happiness fascinating. In my profession I find this to be quite true. Your honesty about expectations in life shows extreme pessimism, but with all of the over the top optimistic blogs out there, it is a breath of fresh air. This is the first post of yours I have read. It won't be the last.

  9. Pessioptimist -- thanks for stopping by and finding something of interest here. We're in agreement on some matters then. I think I'm an ultra-realist more than a pessimist because I don't expect good or bad. I simply know that something will happen as a result of an effort of mine or an event beyond my control. I try not to expect at all. Then I'm surprised.

  10. I also totally agree that there is a huuuuggggeeeee difference between real happiness and the fake, situational happiness that is acquired through getting things or having your needs satiated. It's hard to resist the latter because to try to seek out our needs and take all we can take is wired into our animal side, it helped us survive as apes and cavemen. But it is so very, very fickle. Eastern mysticism, which I have a big interest in, teaches that true happiness, true bliss, is something that has no bearing on any physical state or possession or whatever. So you certainly have the right idea as far as most of this is concerned I think.

  11. At an extended family Easter dinner this year, my sister got annoyed when I said I couldn't care less about the upcoming wedding of Prince William/Kate Middleton. Immediately, she accused me of being unnecessarily negative, possibly jealous and not having any appreciation of a "real life fairytale happy ending" - what she argued "most people can only dream about". She mentioned being instantly cheered up every time she sees this royal couple - because she feels that they inspire her to believe that romantic dreams really do come true and anyone can aspire to that ideal. I will mention that my sister is not a teenager. She's an intelligent, well-read woman that has experienced many ups and downs in life. You're right on target about the the "stimulation" theory when it comes to happiness. My sister, like so many people out there that worship celebrity culture and the rich and famous, escape their sense of "happiness lacking from their lives" by seeking the stimulation of vicariously living through holographic constructs of what happiness is supposed to look like. In my opinion, this is the fastest route to never actually finding any happiness at all.

  12. Happy easter bro, hope you enjoyed it in your own special way

  13. This blog is awesome!! I'me going to follow it now!!
    Could you tell me your opinion 'bout mine??

    I hope you like it, if you do please follow

  14. I recently got into a debate with a co-worker at the movie theater I work at over the film Hanna. She claimed that films that show darkness (the example would be the life of Hanna, people dying, etc.) aren't good for us because we need to focus on making the world better. I told her that I thought films that ignore darkness are disingenuous. I know we agree.

    I think the thing that films like "In A Glass Cage" offer to the world can be likened to a way of looking through the world called Negative Visualization. The word 'negative' comes with so much baggage these days, but in context of visualizing, it is something that I've done my whole entire life, and apparently it is a constituent in Stoic philosophy. An example of negative visualization could go like this:

    You're outside during the daytime. You decide to look up at the sky. It is beautiful with a deep-bodied blue. You can even feel the clean air (I'm in Idaho, so this is applicable!) as you breathe it in. You recognize how amazing this moment is. Then, you decide to look at it differently. What if there wasn't an atmosphere, three layers of it like our own, that could allow you to breathe? What if the atmosphere wasn't even made of oxygen, and closer to that of Venus? What if there were no sunlight to refract through the atmosphere to give it its aesthetic beauty? What if none of that was there?

    Basically, if one can imagine life in a state that isn't conducive to life or basic happiness, it can help you appreciate it more. If you know how fragile everything is, if you know how easily it can get worse, if you're aware of the possibilities that can lead to your non-existence (like the eventual heat-death of our universe), it will make you more grateful for life than your typical happiness-affirmations and shameless illusions in media or even the self-help movement.

    I think the worst part about karma is that is implies that somehow the universe has us in mind. It's simply case and effect in a world with deterministic properties. People do good and bad things. What kinds of things come out from good and bad things? More of it.

    Happy Easter! I apologize for the length. I assume people are actually interested in my words from time to time.

  15. I think your blog is fantastic. You have a point of view and an awesome writing style that conveys that point of view without being downright offensive and ignorant. I'm 26, and my life didn't start seeing actual spots of happiness until about 4 years ago, but everything that happened before that? Made me appreciate everything all the more. Great posts! I think you're awesome!

  16. DJ -- "the fastest route to never actually finding happiness". Well said. Spot on!


    Scrogglez -- had a healthy Easter with engaging people.


    Jesse W -- your theory on darkness giving one a better appreciation of its opposite is shared by me.

    The universe certainly doesn't have us in mind. "Karma", for me, is associated with religious thought, a blind belief that Someone or some Thing is watching over you and seeing to it that "morality" is preserved.

    Thank you for your words. Always interested in hearing them in this forum.

    A suggestion for your sister: Volunteer her services in a homeless shelter or home for abused women. Or become a Big Sister to a girl who doesn't have one. Skip the happy flicks.


    Marlee -- thank you for stopping by and for your generous comments. If anything, I try to focus on reality and take it from there. I'm glad you're seeing some "happiness' in your life these days. It doesn't last, but neither does unhappiness. Like the tides, our emotional states ebb and flow in reaction to what happens. It's how we react that matters.



  18. Your post gave me the chills. We have similarities in some point -- about the random events that happen in one's life and the concept of happiness. It's just so freaking true.

    Regards, my friend. Looking forward to read more your works. =)

  19. There was something haunting about this post; it stayed with me all night and into the next day. I'm not sure if what you say is the absolute truth, or simply the kind of thing I tell myself when I am feeling suicidal; but your words connect, and I see little to take issue with. I must agree- although for me, there is something sad about this surrender, rather than liberating.
    I think it is merely a question of some people taking longer to shed the mythology of the happy ending than others...and I am definitely guilty.

  20. Since happiness means different things to different people so does happy endings. I always wish for happy endings :)

  21. This is amazing! I recently discovered your blog, and I love it.

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  22. wow. i agree with most of what u have said here. good to know that im not alone in my beliefs.

  23. "expectations" are the cyanide pill in every human relationship.