Friday, May 29, 2009
The Evil of the American Girl
I announced in http://phantomofpulp.blogspot.com/2009/03/meet-girls-from-stepford.html that the American Girls are here. They're not coming soon. They're not waiting around the corner. THEY ARE HERE.
The March 2009 catalog is a deathlist of more troubling developments and heinous events.
Somehow, they've penetrated the music conservatory. Some will be fooled by their "perfect harmony". I won't. At least I don't think I will.
This one's waiting for your call. I suggest you "lose" her number.
Clever idea. Covering those John Wyndham eyes with sunnies.
Is that a coffin she's sitting up in or a bed? I could have sworn it was a coffin.
And what the fuck is it with Bennett and Yank, little Molly's hellhounds? Yank?! Bennett? Who named these two?
Yeah, bring home your "Bitty Baby" and say goodbye to your future.
Pity the unfortunate blond moppet (pictured) who is yet to taste the bittersweet nectar of synthetic homicide.
Ah, the bliss of ignorance. Better make the most of your day on the town, girls, because it will be your last.
Note the malicious, future thinking grin on the dial of the doll in green.
What pretty evil these maidens bear.
The "finding friendship" mini-essay above refers to a group of "mean girls" who are making it hard for Chrissa to fit in. Her dilemma is: Will she side with Sonali (sounds like a foreigner!) or Gwen?
Well, she decides to go with the local lama instead.
Say a prayer for the gullible beast.
The Spring catalog of plastic killers promises: "She'll look her best in a new Spring doll dress."
Unfortunately, our covergirl will be lucky to live beyond bedtime.
When this doll strikes, it's blood- and brain-splattered sheets all the way!