Saturday, April 24, 2010

Alarmingly Good news

If you're a big Mondo movie fan, and who isn't?...

(actually, most people aren't Mondo fans, Phantom.... Ed.)

... then you've got to love Mexico's magnificent Alarma magazine.

It provides a weekly dose of lurid murder, sensationalistic mayhem, delicious human deformities, and unplugged visual outrage for the unrepentant voyeur.

In three months, the mag will hit its 1000th issue. That's because they're doing everything right.

First debuting in 1963, it's been copied by the likes of Alarde!, Enlace! and Poliéster.

But unlike its failed imitators and the sorry folks appearing between its covers, Alarma will not die.

The blood red cherry on top of Alarma's immortality as a weekly freak rag is the daily Alarma TV show. Yes, Alarma is on TV, too!

Naturally, I'm more addicted to this nonsense than crack and have been recording it religiously. On weekends, I sit back with a bowl of oats and catch up on a week's worth of important "news".

Seriously, droogies, Alarma TV is like a mini Mondo movie delivered wet and dripping to your TV screen every day of the damn week.

Co-hosted by the sizzling hot Colombian beauty Lianna Grethel (Jesus, she makes one dizzy!), who also appears on NBC's Deal or No Deal, this show is to blood, guts and general weirdness what TMZ is to celebrity gossip.

Oh, yeah, the male co-host of Alarma TV is soap star Jorge Antolin, but I don't really notice him much. Unless you're a fruit, you won't either.

Poor guy! Against Lianna, he doesn't stand a chance.

The show is a product of Lieberman Broadcasting, and available on KRCA 62 in Southern California. Elsewhere, I'm not sure where it's playing, but do what you can to track it down; you won't be sorry.

(actually, some people will be sorry...Ed.)

The show is in Spanish, so if you don't speak the language, you can still enjoy the grisly and provocative visuals.

I must thank my dear friends Larry and Tora Wessel for steering me towards Alarma TV.

The show's website is here: http://nuevoalarma.com.mx/

Like me, you can pick up the mag for US$2.50 at newsstands in dangerous Spanish neighborhoods.

Enjoy!

11 comments:

  1. I want to bugger Lianna Grethel.

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  2. willy j/o -- the line forms on the right.

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  3. Wow, that shit is horrible. Thanks.

    Oh, and I'm not a fruit, but I find men attractive...I'm confused.

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  4. Nice!
    I wouldn't mind seeing a few episodes. Shame I can't :(

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  5. Gore-Gore -- my apologies for not considering non-fruit women.

    ***

    Anonymous -- Still going strong. There are bits and pieces on the net, too. Not sure why this gem isn't being more widely exported. They could do an English-subbed version.

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  6. Hey Phantom, did you ever catch the documentary on Alarma's photographers entitled....wait for it now...."Alarma!"?

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  7. Milky -- that "Alarma" doco is fantastic. I've been trying to subscribe to this mag, but it's impossible. I still have to travel many miles to pick up copies, so I can only cry at the thought of how much magic I'm missing when weeks go by without an issue. Why does "Alarma" make access to itself so difficult? Why has it forsaken its non-Spanish speaking readers by denying them subscriptions? Why? Why? Why?

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  8. It sure is a great doc - eye-opening to say the least.

    I'm crossing my fingers for you in the hopes they start shipping wider. *crosses fingers and testicles*

    I may have heard this from the doc, but is it true that when they are on the shelves, they fly off them? Do you know if they really sell that quickly?

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  9. Diary -- it's so hard in the US to get regular issues of Alarma. No subs, either.

    I reckon they do sell quickly because my usual haunts are almost always out of them.

    Imagine a box set of these?

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  10. Phantom, couldn't you arrange with a newsagent to save a copy for you each week? I used to do that (with other mags).

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  11. Jack J -- unfortunately, there are no what you and I would call 'newsagents' in the US. There are newsstands, but none carry 'Alarma'. 'Alarma' is only carried in impoverished Mexican neighborhoods and on an intersection in Downtown LA. I live 2.5 round trip drive from there, so I can't go there each week. On top of that, the guy who mans the stand speaks very poor English. Getting him to put 'Alarma' aside each week would be a chore.

    I don't know why they don't have international subscriptions. Probably don't see it as profitable because most Mexicans get the mags from street sellers in Mexico.

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