If you're a big Mondo movie fan, and who isn't?...
(actually, most people aren't Mondo fans, Phantom.... Ed.)
... then you've got to love Mexico's magnificent Alarma magazine.
It provides a weekly dose of lurid murder, sensationalistic mayhem, delicious human deformities, and unplugged visual outrage for the unrepentant voyeur.
In three months, the mag will hit its 1000th issue. That's because they're doing everything right.
First debuting in 1963, it's been copied by the likes of Alarde!, Enlace! and Poliéster.
But unlike its failed imitators and the sorry folks appearing between its covers, Alarma will not die.
The blood red cherry on top of Alarma's immortality as a weekly freak rag is the daily Alarma TV show. Yes, Alarma is on TV, too!
Naturally, I'm more addicted to this nonsense than crack and have been recording it religiously. On weekends, I sit back with a bowl of oats and catch up on a week's worth of important "news".
Seriously, droogies, Alarma TV is like a mini Mondo movie delivered wet and dripping to your TV screen every day of the damn week.
Co-hosted by the sizzling hot Colombian beauty Lianna Grethel (Jesus, she makes one dizzy!), who also appears on NBC's Deal or No Deal, this show is to blood, guts and general weirdness what TMZ is to celebrity gossip.
Oh, yeah, the male co-host of Alarma TV is soap star Jorge Antolin, but I don't really notice him much. Unless you're a fruit, you won't either.
Poor guy! Against Lianna, he doesn't stand a chance.
The show is a product of Lieberman Broadcasting, and available on KRCA 62 in Southern California. Elsewhere, I'm not sure where it's playing, but do what you can to track it down; you won't be sorry.
(actually, some people will be sorry...Ed.)
The show is in Spanish, so if you don't speak the language, you can still enjoy the grisly and provocative visuals.
I must thank my dear friends Larry and Tora Wessel for steering me towards Alarma TV.
The show's website is here: http://nuevoalarma.com.mx/
Like me, you can pick up the mag for US$2.50 at newsstands in dangerous Spanish neighborhoods.