Thursday, December 9, 2010

LA Zombie's Post-Coital Raid

The home of Richard Wolstencroft, the director of MUFF (the Melbourne Underground Film Festival), was raided by police recently. Targeted was Wolstencroft's screener of LA Zombie, an audacious zombie pic from festival favorite Bruce LaBruce; the filmmaker's The Raspberry Reich was screened by MUFF several years ago. Yours truly even met the visiting filmmaker.

A couple of months ago, Wolstencroft opted to screen LA Zombie after it was banned by the Australia censorship gestapo. His "secret" protest screening did not attract the constabulary at the time. The tardy, post-coital timing of the raid several months later did, however, coincide with a pending election in the state of Victoria. Funny about that.

Unfortunately, I'm not surprised that Mr. Wolstencroft got raided.

Melbourne Underground Film Festival's Richard Wolstencroft

It's neither here nor there that he in particular was targeted, but the thinking behind the raid is easy to understand because I've lived on and off in Australia for some time. Where arts is concerned, Australia has a country town mentality. The divide between the government (the censors) and purveyors of art in that country is massive. It's an abyss, in fact.

Essentially, it's a symptom of gross cultural immaturity mixed with small town outrage. Blend that with government's too close relationship to the funding of the arts, and you get an arts culture that is, to put it politely, intrinsically fucked.

LaBruce's zombie pic was not screened by the larger Melbourne International Film Festival because of the banning. Brave soul Wolstencroft decided to challenge the ban with his protest screening.

It sucks oversized elephant dicks that feature films can even be banned in a country that prides itself on salt of the Earth freedom. It's a damn fucking shame of the highest order because, as far as everything else goes, Australia is the greatest country to live in in the world. It's also the best place to be when you're feeling under the weather, a great place to get a job (the economy is booming!), the locations (for filmmakers) are mouth watering, and the country's women are beautiful and eminently lickable. Australia even has a female Prime Minister (licking optional).

The colony's main problem is the lingering Old Englishness of its draconian censorship system. It has a pervasive nanny quality, a belief that decisions related to what you can and can't see or read are best left to those greater (and less corruptible) than you. The system is also dishonest and inconsistent in its decisions (Antichrist, which also features hardcore fucking, was passed uncut, while LA Zombie was "Refused Registration" (banned) . On top of that, the censors call themselves a "classification" board. Well, if they only classified films, that would be accurate, but they ban films, books, games, and magazines also. That's censorship. Even a dumb cunt with a broken abacus knows that.

This maintenance of hundred year old prudishness hovers around the country's exhibition and art business like the wet fart of Maggie Thatcher. You only have to look at some of the old white fucks running the board to understand that it really is time for them to fuck off and die and make room for a system that simply classifies movies. And I'm not just talking movies or videos of "merit", either. I'm talking about anything at all. If it's legally made, it should be available (that includes sex mixed with violence, too, Freedom Lovers!).

Making a mockery of the thinking behind the raid on Mr. Wolstencroft (the director of the Melbourne Underground Film Festival) is the availability of pretty much anything and everything on the internet these days. Still, a public screening is a different fish. That's why festivals exist.

LA Zombie director Buce LaBruce

Personally, I don't blame the police for the raid. They were only doing what some pathetic little dweeb in government asked them to do. Clearly, someone got a nice little stiffy intimidating a little guy while hiding behind the Queen's petticoats. I hope they enjoyed their little power orgasm.

In parts of the US, censorship is enforced on a local basis, so the problem operates under another cloak there. Canada censors pornography it deems "dangerous", and England, though far more liberal than it once was, still snips and cuts what it finds offensive.

For as long as there are micro-dicked human beings there will be censorship. It's a tempting passer of time for the weak and insecure, and it's the easiest and laziest way for them to curry favor with society's dumb and ignorant. That's why our politicians practice it with such unbridled passion.

Message to censors: It's a fucking zombie movie for Chrissakes. Grow up and give yourselves a blowjob!


  1. i wouldn't lick Julia. even if you covered the bitch in layers of god's own vegemite....

  2. stoner -- that's why it's optional. Someone out there will, though.

  3. I live in Puerto Rico (wich is U.S. territory) and they also censor films that are made here as well. There is such a thing as the Puerto Rico Film Commission, but they wont fund any independent film that doesnt suck up to the governments way of seeing things. In other words: everything in the film has to be politically correct and profound and right wing.

    If it shows anything remotely real concerning "the people" or poverty, oppression or abuse (daily bread and butter to a lot of Puerto Ricans) then they wont fund it.

    People, its a film, its art, and we are adults, so whats the big deal? And what about Freedom of Speech? Where the hell does it go to in moments such as these? Is there any real freedom of speech at all?

  4. jervaise brooke hamsterDecember 9, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    But phantom, dont you understand, all the "draconian censorship" that still plagues various parts of the world exists specifically because we are all unfortunate enough to still be living in "THE TIME OF SEXUAL REPRESSION" that we were all unfortunate enough to be born into, a time that will always be remembered by future historians as one of the most loathsome and hideous times in history to have been born into and we`re the poor bastards who had to live through it.

  5. Very interesting and shameful also. Governments are focused on putting out idealistic images of the countries they're ruling. Art that frames reality is a serious threat to them. In essence, truth is extremely unpopular with our plutocratic rulers because it exposes the lies their careers are founded on. The current Wikileaks debacle is testament to this. These so-called Great Rulers act no differently in global relations to The Mafia, and they're very concerned that this truth is currently being mainstreamed. It was always true, but those suspecting it were written off as fanatics, subversives, and "conspiracy nuts".

    Yes, it is Art, but to these political fuckheads who clearly lack imagination and honest bones, it is Exposure. That is why they'll always censor under the pretext of protecting children and national security. It's sickening, and does nobody any good but themselves (which is the only reason they do the job, anyway).

  6. proud to say labruce is a fellow canuck. first watched his work back when super 8 1/2 came out. fun stuff. sad to say he hasn't exactly been embraced by the canadian film community, although (unless i'm mistaken) he does get govt money to make his films (a fact that became a national uproar a few years back).

    as for censorship, it's alive and well the world over. just look at the fervor behind the hunt for public enemy #1 julian assange. imagine if they put such a concentrated effort into hunting down osama bin laden. sad that so many regular folks also see assange as an enemy instead of being the messenger he is.

  7. A jolly good censoring broo ha-ha does wonders for the DVD sales of an otherwise lack lustre film, tho; 'Base Moi', pour eg? I for one will be curious now to find out if the flick in question is as substantial as the noise surrounding it...