Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Gunman Always Cums Twice

I know, I know, I wrote about my movie The Masturbation Gunman (2000) last month. At the time, however, I didn't have these great stills to share; they were taken by my brother, Colin, who is an excellent still photographer. He always captures the feeling of the moment in a professional, dynamic way.

In this scene, The Masturbating Gunman (Robin Brennan) is interrupted in the middle of a phone call by three assassins. While remaining on the line, he dispatches one of them with a bullet and the other with an act of disembowelment. To rub salt into the wound, he shows the man his own balls and scrotum and beats him across the face with them. The third assassin gets away.

In this still, the Gunman penetrates the fort where his sibling 'Sister Mary Van Hooten' (Nene Powell) is being held by 'Helmut Gunta'.

Ordered to find 'Gunta' a virgin, his henchmen grab 'Sister Mary Van Hooten'.

That's me (in a cameo) on the left. On the right is Scottish-born George "Cunty McFuck" Gladstone, a popular Melbourne cult actor. He also appeared in my films Sensitive New Age Killer (as an assassin) and Defenceless (as a rapist who is hacked to pieces by the film's heroine).

I once asked George where his nickname, "Cunty McFuck", came from. It was given to him by his mother when he was a kid, he told me. Several years later, his mother confirmed this fact to my face.

"Why did you call him that?' I inquired.

She replied in a matter-of-fact tone: "Because the boy was such a Cunty Mcfuck."

And there you have it.

As 'Sister Mary Van Hooten' waits for her first audience with 'Helmut Gunta', the eyes of her perverted kidnappers drill right through her.

First in line is "Cunty McFuck", of course, who could always be relied on to deliver a solid, mean-spirited performance.

'Helmut Gunta' (Peter Beitans) was a crazed Coffin Joe-type character whose soul purpose in life was to sire a son. Peter, whose background was in the theatre, appeared originally in my unreleased film The Sentimental Assassin ('96) as a crime boss. He was then cast in the fun Spagehetti Western homage A Bullet in the Arse ('93), in which I played a gay gunman who is blasted off a cliff.

The little girl who brings The Masturbating Gunman (Robin Brennan) a glass of water, thereby reviving him from a state of exhaustion, was truly terrified of the latex mask. It took many hours to shoot what amounted to approximately six shots of her. By the time this final shot was filmed, she'd overcome most of her fear.

Needless to say, she never saw the movie.

Not many other people did, either.


  1. Working with kids must be ungodly.

    "Cunty McFuck" has to be the greatest nick in the history of nicks. I may have to put this moniker to use at some point.

  2. d -- on the set in polite company it was abbreviated to just "Cunty".

    Working with this particular kid was trying.

    The kids in 'Defenceless' were great, though.