Saturday, March 14, 2009

Meet The Girls From Stepford

This is Nicky, American Girl's "Girl of the Year, 2007".

According to the catalog, she's "a natural with animals. She's also compassionate, dependable -- and very busy."

Busy doing what? Being creepy in a Stepford kind of way?


This is the real Nicky.

As you can see, the doll has been chubbied up and mutated so it doesn't cop the body image criticism often aimed (unfairly) at dear Barbie, Nicky's distant relative.

The huge American Girl store at The Grove in West Hollywood is well worth visiting.

It is where zombified little girls can be purchased for a pretty penny.

Siamese Twins joined at the hip have found a home at the store.

Something is wrong with Grace the Dog, though.

Kit puts on a brave face, of course, but it doesn't change the fact that something is very wrong with Grace.


The children gather to decide whether to send Josefina, the Hispanic girl, "who holds onto dreams as big as the New Mexico sky", according to the catalog, back to Mexico.

Due to a printing error in the May 2007 catalog, she has been permanently scarred. She's no longer per-fect. Personally, I like her flawed beauty.

Although I am a collector of factory-deformed or obviously hideous dolls, I recognized the magic of the American Girl dolls almost right away.

A company so self-consciously PC couldn't help but produce these delightful mutations.

The first American Girl film, Kit Kittredge - An American Girl (2008), starred Abigail Breslin as Kit.

Thankfully, she didn't sing or dance. And, by comparing visages, you can see that Kit was de-chubbied for the movie.

As a rule, Little Fat Girls are usually hidden from children's eyes on media cautiously programmed after their kind have gone to bed.

These roly-poly moppets from Desperate Housewives are rarely exposed to "normal children".


The Kit Kittredge film is an exceptionally well made, slightly PC period drama set in The Great Depression. Kit (Breslin) is an aspiring, young journalist whose father loses his job. As a result, she learns about foreclosure and homelessness as the world around her changes.

Obviously, I wasn't the only one concerned about Grace's unhappiness.

In the film version of Kit's life, you can see that Grace's dog box has been widened on all sides. Clearly, the source of the dog's unhappiness had been the asphyxiating dimensions of the original head opening. He appeared much happier in the film.

Unfortunately, the movie did not perform any cartwheels at the box office.

Next time, American Girl may do well to focus on the creepy aspect of their creations and set the film in Stepford.

11 comments:

  1. You have a keen eye for the kind of pathos that escapes most of us, Phantom...

    No doubt you saw the recent DVD release 'Slimming down the Abigail Breslin Way' through 'Starz Lifestyle'? A one child cottage industry that kid, and well on the way to old Stepford town, I'll wager. Along with all the other approved 'height weight ratio' girls not only on your page, but from the world at large. Creepy.

    'We accept you, binge and purge, one of us, binge and purge, we accept you...etc'

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have a keen eye for the kind of pathos that escapes most of us, Phantom...

    No doubt you saw the recent DVD release 'Slimming down the Abigail Breslin Way' through 'Starz Lifestyle'? A one child cottage industry that kid, and well on the way to old Stepford town, I'll wager. Along with all the other approved 'height weight ratio' girls not only on your page, but from the world at large. Creepy.

    'We accept you, binge and purge, one of us, binge and purge, we accept you...etc'

    ReplyDelete
  3. my girlfriend and i frequent the grove for some of the best mexican food in town (loteria) and we're never not creeped out by the american girl store and the families that stream out of there toting their mummified prisoners. why is it that the masses see things like this not as grotesque but as everyday as apple pie?

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  4. Ugh, my niece has one of these terrible little things. There's something unsettling about dolls and these bizarre doll trends frankly creep me the fuck out.

    I'm wondering if you're familiar with the docu MY FAKE BABY in which women who can't produce offspring pay ghastly amounts of dough for hyper-realistic infant dolls. I can't believe we share air with some of these people.

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  5. I'm very familiar with the British doco MY FAKE BABY, d. I have it on DVD and love it.

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  6. I must check Loteria out, Kotto.

    Yes, the American Girl store is a carnival of apple pie grotesquerie.

    Coincidentally, my girlfriend has become quite intrigued with my American Girl catalogs and has vowed to "surprise" me with some of the dolls.

    Since she's a big Saeki admirer, I trust her judgment.

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  7. hahaha...you'll have to post a pic of it once your "surprise" shows up. as for mine, she's not so much a saeki admirer...but (being a chef) she did introduce me to sweetbreads - that's gotta count for something!

    btw, you won't be disappointed by loteria. if you like huevos, they do em' damn good. for your first visit i suggest you try the probaditas sampler which is a plate full of 12 different mini tacos - it'll give you a good lay of the land. don't forget to try the tortilla soup and to wash it all down with a limeade.

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  8. Sorry, Kotto, I should have been more descriptive. By Saeki I did mean the artist Toshio Saeki, whom I have featured on this blog a couple of times.

    Thank you for the menu suggestions. I will imbibe soon.

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  9. Oh My Goodness!!!!! This is one of the most off-the-wall fascinating and damn strange features I've read in a long time!!!

    I love it and must recommend this to all my odd friends!!!!

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  10. Cyberschizoid -- glad you enjoyed it. The piece wrote itself because these girls are so inspiring.

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  11. no confusion...i knew what saeki you were referring to. on the flipside, she does love good sake.

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