Thursday, March 19, 2009

Guy N. Smith and the People Who Love To Fuck

There's a big Guy N. Smith revival on the way... and not before bloody time, either!

I've been with Guy since the beginning. I picked up the 1st NEL edition of Guy's Werewolf By Moonlight in 1974 for the bargain basement price of $.95. I was twelve years old.

Issued in September, it came out two months before James Herbert's The Rats changed the face of British horror.

The book was and is a true original.

There is nobody but nobody who writes like Guy.

Guy has always understood that great pulp entertains first and lectures last.

His productive output is testament to a fertile mind that has never gathered dust or moss.

What I really admired about Guy and Herbert (James) back in those formative days is that they weren't shy about having their characters fuck.

By including short but rip-roaring sex scenes, they acknowledged that human love to fuck.

I don't like books that pretend that fucking doesn't exist. I don't like authors who justify their steering away from sex with sorry excuses such as "It's all been done before" and "It detracts from the story."

Not if done right it doesn't, pussy!

And "all been done before"? I say "Bullshit." You can never get enough sex. It's not a well that runs dry.

As a male, I don't think I'm speaking out of turn when I say that, if a man (unmarried, of course) were driving home from an orgy in which he had had sex with two hundred and thirty three women, he would still be turning his head in the direction of every pretty girl who walked or cycled by.

Guy N. Smith understands his readership. He satisfies his own craving to create while simultaneously jerking his reader off with a Fully Erect*-rated pulp combo of sex and horror.

The Sucking Pit (NEL, '75) is possibly the best pulp title ever.

As a thirteen year old schoolboy standing in the horror section of Melbourne's long gone The Bookshop of Charles Dickens, I asked myself: What exactly is being sucked in Guy Smith's pit?

I was very eager to find out.

In this watershed work, I was introduced to a young lady whose name, Jenny Lawson, and authentic personality, have not been been expunge from my psyche by time; she was a salacious, young sexpot who enjoyed fucking. Yes, she enjoyed it! And she had some get-up-and-go in her, too. No shrinking violet our Jenny.

I grew up in a Catholic home, went to a Catholic school, and frequently rattled off inane Catholic prayers translated from Latin. In my Catholic world, one shaped by my mother, women certainly did not enjoy sex.

I remember my mother telling me, at age thirteen -- five years AFTER my first bout of serious sexual experimentation -- that girls who tried to have sex with boys were "bad". Yes, "bad" was the word she used.

Back in those days, I used to hear about a chap named Charles Manson. They said he was a very "bad" man. He was virtually the boogie man. My biggest fear when I was a pre-teen was that Charles Manson was hiding in my closet and would emerge when I was sleeping. Now, if Charles Manson was bad, were girls who "tried" to have sex with boys the same kind of bad as Charlie Manson?

The Charlie who lived in my closet, and Charlie today

Nobody ever answered that one... except Guy Smith.

The answer was no. Actually, the answer was Absolutely Not!

Thanks to Guy Smith and Mr. Herbert, I developed a healthy attitude to all things adult.

The Sucking Pit took place in a bog.

The events of The Slime Beast (NEL, '75) were set in "The Wash", an area of endless marshes, treasure, adventure, sex, and bloodshed.

Although the premise is science fiction, Guy quickly pushes the story into horror territory and, once again, gives us real people who fuck.

I went through a period in which I would put down books if the characters didn't jump into bed, or at least talk about it.

If they didn't fuck, I didn't want to read about them. They weren't real to me.

At the end of the day, if I wanted eunuch literature, I'd ask for it.

As Guy's star rises again -- thanks to British Ghostwriter Publications, a joint venture with Guy himself, and the promotional efforts of hundreds of lifelong devotees of the pipe-smoking Apostle of British Pulp -- I sit here not one bit surprised by this development because...

Few things in life run truer than Mr. Guy N. Smith.


We're all indebted to the great Larry Flynt for his
invention of the Fully Erect rating. X-rated reviews in
Hustler fell between Fully Erect and Totally Limp.


  1. As a male, can you 'speak out of turn' in your own fucking blog??

    You can speak any way you fucking like my friend, and you are right; I return home from such orgies thrice weekly, and if I can still drive, and still turn my head with the crick in my neck from 69'ing all night, I most definitely check out the supernumerary talent.

    Phantom, is it possible your mother meant 'bad' in the vernacular of street, as in 'bad motherfucker'??

    I wasn't there, but perhaps she actually approved of 'bad' girls and 'superfreaks'; which opens up yet another can of worms!! Or is this merely indicative of my inclination toward revisionism of history?

    Is it possible she thought Manson was a 'bad motherfucker', and if that is the case...


    Keep the stories of your mum, the gatekeeper and keymaster, coming! It was this early stumbling block in a long series throughout your life, I'll wager, who has shaped your rebelious streak, and fired your rampant enthusiasm for pulp as catalogued herein!

    Would you be the 'great Phantom' you have come to be without her, one wonders?

  2. I can relate having had the same Catholic upbringing and having been obsessed with sex (and violence!) from a young age. Very early on I didn't buy it and have felt kinship with other lost little lambs ever since. Probably because of this I've always despised the phrase "guilty pleasures" as it conjures the image of being balled out by a nun for my drawings and stories.

    Completely off-topic, but pertaining to the word "fuck": women who take offense at it being used to describe having sex bug the living hell out of me. It's a fantastic word and I prefer not to compromise by censoring myself.

  3. I really really dig your blog! U were mentioned in my film class, and a lot of us are following u.

    Maybe U can do a blog post with a list of your fav directors/films?

    Also: how can we see your films? I really want to see them! They sound unfucking believable!

    Also, any advise your have about women!

    Jared X

  4. This is a fine little thought-piece and the scans are good sleazy fun...

    but it left me with the fever for more fan-based analysis of Guy's golden era! Please consider writing some reviews of these gems.

  5. mandingo -- I'm sure my mother didn't mean "bad" as in "bad motherfucker"; the world of bad motherfuckers was not a world she was intimate with.

    I'm sure my rebellious streak began with her her, though... and intensified as I was fed through a chain of strict Catholic schools.

    d-- I never bought the Catholic way of life, or the "sex is dirty" thing. If nothing else, I was an independent thinker from a very early age, and gravitated towards other kids who walked a brittle road to truth.

    Movies and books were where I found honesty. I sure as hell didn't find it in the adult world that attempted to cast me in its mold.

    "Fuck" is indeed a wonderful word. It is most effective in context. Progressive women enjoy the words fuck and cunt being used at appropriate times. Those uncomfortable with these words tend to be uncomfortable with themselves.

    Anonymous -- I was mentioned in a film class??? The mind boggles. Whatever for?

    I have had a shitload of requests recently about director/fave film lists and filmmaking experiences/advice. I'm happy to share the little I know and feel.

    For various reasons, my films are quite difficult to find right now. I have about 20 clips/trailers for some of my films up at:

    What advice are you looking for about women?

    Cliff -- glad you enjoyed it.

    There is much Guy analysis over on the UK proboards. I intend to write about him regularly. I have paperback originals of all his English-language horror books and some odds and ends.

    He holds great meaning for me.

  6. I'm sure you are right about your Mum- I'll bet she never spent any time across 110th street.

    Why wouldn't you be mentioned in a film class? You are a film maker of the first order, and your film appreciation is second to none- at least good enough to be mentioned in a film school, and at best good enough to be published and consulted over and again.

    As you grow in popularity, you are going to become beseiged by requests; stick to what you do best- continue to shine a light on the unheard of and underappreciated, and you will always be on a winner.

    However, I for one would like to know what the Phantom feels about the future of the film industry (whatever that means) and I'll bet the film school students would benefit from your perspective. I worry that in order to continue to survive in a medium under siege, film schools- like any other business- will carry on with a lot of crap in order to continue to make a buck.

    What do you feel is the bottom line, Phantom? What does the future hold, if anything? How would you advise the young starters?

    How would you advise any of us?

    C'mon, Phantom, this is not the time for humility; shuffle your feet and umm and errr on your own time. We are here because you know your shit- period.

    You have unique and valued perspective. What do you feel is the future of film? Perhaps a blog or two devoted to this? I know from experience one can hesitate to pass on knowledge when there are always consequences, but in your case the consequences would be that you will be passing on truths based on your knowledge and experience.

    Now the young ones are coming to you, you owe it to them...correction, you don't owe anyone anything. Rather...I would prefer to see you set them straight on a few truths based on your experience- the feathers in your cap AND the black eyes- rather than being fed bullshit by those who might serve their own interests.

    Plus, I would like to know, as well.

    These are uncertain times, Phantom; what is your estimation? How would you advise the youngsters? It might well be a matter of life and death, sadly...